Bittersweet Father's Day

So, this is the 1st Father's Day without Joe {have had 3 holidays without my husband and some of the most difficult yet to come} and I went to bed Saturday night feeling down. My oldest son Chris said he was feeling bad," cause he has no Dad". Youngest son Jason is unavailable, my father has been gone for almost 3 years, and I was getting myself into a real pity party. As I lay there trying to fall asleep, I decided to make Sunday Joe's day anyway. We have out favorite beach and when asked "So what do you want to do today?" Joe's answer would usually be "Go to the beach". Headed out at 6am, watching the sun rise along the way...what a picture perfect morning. Arrived at "our" spot at 7:15 and was walking on the almost deserted beach by 7:20. I don't know why I feel closer to the spirit of my husband while walking on the beach, but I just know that I do. Walked a ways, picking up shells & stones & only an occasional piece of beach glass. Wrote a note to Joe in the sand, walked a little more with my tears for company, and then I saw a single, solitary pelican out over the ocean. Joe was a nature guy from the day we met, and pelicans were always his favorite bird, next to eagles. Usually the brown pelicans travel in groups of 5...sometimes as many as 15...in a long line stretched out over the ocean. This guy was all by himself...just cruisin' along...not in a hurry to get anywhere...just like my Joe. Dried my tears and kept walking and feeling a tiny bit better. Walked close to 2 miles and by then I was starving, so headed into the teeny town for breakfast. Unfortunately, every one else in town got hungry at the same time...lines out the door...so I headed to our "favorite convenience store" for a Starbucks & a breakfast bar. Stopped at the local Home Depot on my way out of town, and bought a huge pot of Brown-eyed Susans which will be planted in Joe's favorite garden spot in our yard. So a day that started off pretty badly the night before, turned into a day of fond memories, and a further understanding of this path that I have been set upon. I did not chose this path, and given the chance I would step off in a heartbeat. I cannot step off...my job here is far from done. Have a wonderful week...hug your husbands, and never let your loved ones doubt how important & loved they are. *elaine* P.S. The MickeyD's billboard was spotted on my way to the beach...had to pull over and get a shot of that! {My Joe was only Joseph when he was in big trouble!!} P.S.S. My destination {previous post} 2 weeks ago was Virginia Beach..Paula guessed correctly. No prize, but thanks for reading my wanderings anyway! *e*